Moses and I are not professionals, we just have years of experience. The helpful advice given in this blog is purely from our experiences. Hopefully, it will help you or someone you know. I will try to post helpful advice or encouragements every week or two weeks.

The first and fore most important piece of advice I can give applies to anyone and everyone who misses someone far away. Maybe a romantic relationship, family member, or friend. Perhaps it is even you. The number one helpful advice would be to have clear and realistic expectations. Moses and I thought for a long-time what number one should be and we thought this was the most important. If you move far away or begin a relationship with someone have expectations. We all do, consciously or subconsciously. My question is are they realistic? Can you easily explain what you expect?

Before I began even dating Moses, I was challenged by my own expectations of myself and my future husband. I thought and prayed over them for days. Then I made a list. Little did I know I was going to begin a serious committed relationship a month later. So, if you have not made a list, I would encourage you to make one. Not a superficial list about looks and car models. Which are not terrible, but I am talking character and morals. What do expect when you come home mad from a terrible day at work? What do expect from yourself and your significant other when you are sad? How will this work from miles away? How many times have you been hurt because someone did not do something you expected? I do not know anyone with the ability to read minds. If you do, I want to meet them.

Be honest with yourself first. I never expect Moses to do something I would not do. That is not fair. However, I am brutally honest with myself. I make sure my expectations realistic. After you realize what you want and need it is easy to know what you can expect from yourself and others around you. This is not only for romantic couples. Setting realistic and clear expectations can help in every relationship. Lastly, you need to communicate them. I will write a whole separate blog on communication. The concept of communication is vital and correlates with this discussion but first we need to know what we want. Do not wait until you are mad to say, “Oh yeah, I expect you to this.” Or “I needed you to do that.”  If you wait until your expectations, hopes, and dreams are crushed you are just hurting yourself.

Long distance is a huge commitment. Any relationship is a commitment. Know what you are committing to. Think of it as a business deal. There is a contract with specific goals or expectations. You would read over the contract, study it, ask questions and communicate anything that was concerning or important. Why not do that with your heart? Your future? A successful business has goal and expectations. They change but are always communicated. Do you want to success in this relationship? I expect Moses to call me at certain times of day. We both figured out when we need to talk, and when we want to talk. We set up that expectation because we had various discussions about it. Create and have clear expectations. It works no matter where in world you are. It helps you and others around you. Go ahead, give it a try.

Until next time

-Mo and Mar